As of today I’m considered full term. 37 weeks, which means baby could potentially come at any time. I could, however, also wait another 5 weeks. I’m hoping it’s not 5 more weeks, but I’m happy to let him/her stay in there as long as needed.

I can’t really complain too much about this pregnancy (actually, I could, but I know I’ve had it pretty easy compared to what others go through, so I’ll save my complaining). It’s been relatively smooth, and so far we know that the Little Thorne (or the little wriggler, as Eliot call it) is healthy and happy.

We decided to keep finding out the sex a surprise, and although right now I’m more curious than ever, I’m really happy we did. Eliot thinks boy, and I’ve taken the girl stance just to even things out, we’re 100% sure one of us is right.

But honestly, no crazy “mummy” senses, and can honestly say I have no idea. I don’t trust any of the old wives tales. We have 3 names picked out for each boy and girl, but I think we probably won’t decide on a final name until we’ve seen him/her.

My due date is almost, exactly to the day, 9 years that I fell really hard for this guy I’m now married to.

 

Our beginning was very fairy tale-esque. Since then we’ve been on some amazing adventures together. We’ve had some lows, and I’m thankful for what was learned, not only about myself, but about us in those times. We’ve also had some brilliant amazing highs.

I find it cliche to refer to him as my best friend, because I feel like it simplifies it too much. Also, I have best friends whose relationships I treasure in a completely different way. Yes, friendship is a huge part of our relationship, but what we share goes so much deeper than that, and we’ve come to depend on on another in a way that can’t be summed up with one word or expression. I’m sure most of my friends who are married or have long term partners would agree with this.

In the last 9 years we have created a really beautiful life, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about introducing another person into this symbiotic existence we have going.

Of course, it’s not just “another person,” but it’s a little being who’ll depend on us for everything, and whom, before even meeting, we both already care about so much.

It complicates things. Of course I’m worried about being a new parent, and making the right decisions, and keeping this person safe without sheltering him/her too much from the world. But when I think about it all, I feel like together, with what we can provide as parents, and what we both bring to the table in terms of life and experience, things will be okay. We’ll be okay, in that respect.

What I’m most concerned with, is how our relationship to each other will change. I like love it how it is right now. We’ve spent 9 years getting to know each other, growing up, and shaping this life into what we both want it to be. We have only ever had to worry about making one another happy. Because of this we wavered for quite a while on whether or not having a baby was something we actually wanted.

We decided it IS something we want, and we have embraced this hand in hand with excitement. But I will always treasure the time we had, just the 2 of us, and everything that allowed us to do and the way it strengthened our bond. And my hope is that when times do get tough and we start second guessing every decision we’ve ever made, we can draw from that, and it makes us better partners and parents.

**Indoor photos taken by me, Ashley Hamilton Photography

Forest photos taken by my husband, Eliot Thorne

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Holly 15:31 October 3, 2015 Reply
Ash- this is so incredibly beautiful and honest. You two are going to be such wonderful parents. That little one is so lucky to be coming into a home so full of love and never short on adventure.

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